icicleman:

thatpunnyguy:

what does Batman like to put in his drinks?

JUST ICE

GET OUT

breadstiks:

it’s physically impossible to fit words into a venn diagram

iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

fasterfood:

a white girl is lost in the woods and is about to be attacked by a bear. “why cant we all just be friends, bullying is so stupid, stop bullying <3” she says to it. the bear stops. he is confused. how the hell did she just say <3 out loud

maleteen:

if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body 

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home